TRUE STORY

HOW I FOUND

THE VOGUE

Joanne LA-1-R-FPE

Of course I found it initially in the Yellow Pages, but that's not what I mean. Like most FP's, I live a fantasy life. In normal masculine clothes, I look masculine. My voice is masculine, as are my mannerisms. My beard is heavy and I hate to shave, which means I rarely shave closely. Again like most FP's (I fancy), I have bursts of hyper-femininity. During one of those periods (no pun intended), shaved every accessible hair off my body except my head, of course, and strangly enough, my arms. I have had other periods in which I thought I had given up.

Like many other FP's, I imagine myself to be shapely, in my im- agination 36-24-38 (but I am actually 42-39-43). I would like to be 150 pounds, but am actually 1992. (I refuse to admit I might be 200.) So you know I have bought clothes that didn't fit. Beautiful panties that I couldn't wear, bras that feel like armor and dresses that I have to sweat blood to fasten. I have tried heavyweight corsets which give me a fine figure without the dress and standing up but don't allow movement or even the possibility of getting on my stockings without rupturing myself and over which a measurement has to take into account the thickness of the material and the boning and lacing. Tight girdles give way to the laws of physics and tear themselves apart. If I wear a panty girdle it is sure to constrict my legs and endanger my blood circulation. My stockings literally don't measure up and my shoes are torture chambers. Like other FP's on the larger side I've discovered dis- crimination against the larger woman both in price and prettiness. The more feminine frillies are for the small or medium or even for the large miss. Being exxtra large or maybe exxxtra large, I'm out of luck.

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